Dating after Divorce

Elvis Elvis

Dating after divorce is such a personal thing. Some women dive right in and start dating immediately. Some, like the person the next “10 Signs” are directed to, obviously need to start doing something.

10 Signs It’s Time to Start Dating Again

1. Dinner and a movie has been reduced to a video rental and delivery pizza with your cat.
2. When friends say you need to “get out of the house more”, you go mow the lawn.
3. You’re spending more and more nights with Ben and Jerry.
4. Every time you’re seated in a restaurant a paper cup full of crayons is plopped down in front of you.
5. You only see animated movies.
6. The last time you dated Reagan was in office.
7. All your kisses come from Hershey.
8. You panic when you can’t find the remote control.
9. Your kids have a more active social life than you do.
10. Going to bed at 9:30pm is “staying up late”.

Dating after Divorce

There are no rules. What’s right for me wouldn’t be right for you. When I left my husband, I was so wounded and confused that I didn’t have much idea who I was or what marriage was really about. So the first “nice” man who paid attention to me, complimented me, asked me out – and wanted to marry me, pretty much got me. So I had a six month marriage and found out a) I didn’t know much about me – but was well on my way to learning and b) I certainly didn’t know what it took to make a marriage work – and was well on my way to learning.

Fortunately for me I happened on my Wise Fairy God Mother and began to learn about me and about marriage. So when I met my husband of 19 years today (it’s May 11, 2005 as I write and we married on May 11, 1986) and we began to date, I had acquired many of the tools I now teach so that we have one of the most successful relationships I’ve ever seen.

So when is it right to start dating after divorce. It’s up to you. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine whether you are really ready:

1. Can I leave my children and not feel guilty?
2. Have I begun to understand what went wrong with my marriage?
3. Am I willing to take responsibility for my part in the marriage?
4. Do I love myself?
5. Have I learned to enjoy my own company?
6. Do I have great support while I go on this new adventure with my new self?

And there are no mistakes that you can make if you remember that Life Is a School.