Have a fabulous family life

Elvis Elvis

Of course you want a fabulous family life, too. And if you don’t get it isn’t because you married the wrong guy or is a terrible mother. The same counts for a fabulous family life as for anything else in your life: You get what you attract (with your thoughts).

Most of us marry or start a family with a guy who we’re in love with. Sometimes you do a mistake. Sometimes it turns out the man is a total jerk – he might not have grown up or have big problems himself. Or, you just did a mistake. You don’t want and need the same from life and compromises will make both of you unhappy. You’re wrong for each other. But most of the times he’s just fine. It’s just that some years down the line he’s not fine anymore. What happened?

Have a fabulous family life

I grew up in a family that wasn’t always fabulous. I remember thinking that the grown ups behaved the ways they did because they were grown ups. What a surprise when I grew up an realized that you can behave exactly how you choose to behave! You can actually decide to have a fabulous family life.You don’t have to scream and smell with the doors, you don’t have to call your husband or partner all sort of ugly things. You don’t have to be a bitch to your husband. You don’t have to make him look small and ridiculous in front of yourself or others. When he criticizes you you don’t need to answer by criticizing him more back. You know the style: “How come you never can put the cap back on the toothpaste?” “What about you? You don’t even manage to pee inside the toilet! And you always leave the towels on the bathroom floor – not to mention your dirty underwear!”

The Turks have a saying: No matter how far you’ve traveled on the wrong road, turn back. Yes, turn back.

You get a fabulous family life by focusing on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Law of attraction works here, too. Want love? Focus on showing love. Want affection? Show affection. Imagine that you were crazy in love with your partner, who you can hear locking himself into the house right now. What do you do? Wouldn’t you at least look up from the computer and give him a big, happy-to-see-you “hello!” What about a kiss and a hug?

Yes, I do hear you! You say that you got up three times last night with the baby and you’re sick and tired of your husband never even waking up when the baby cries. Besides, he leaves the laundry in the washing machine until it stinks, wants to go out with his boyfriends every Saturday and hasn’t taken initiative to an evening with only the two of you for as far back as you can remember. So why should you be nice to him?

Because what you give is what you get. Sit and wait for him to do something if you want, or start yourself. Write a list of all his good sides and focus on them. Talk nice and politely to him; show him that you actually appreciate him. No, I don’t say that you’re not right about getting mad because he never takes the baby at night or destroy your clothes in the laundry. But those things are so much easier to discuss and deal with after a good laughter or good sex (or both).

And it’s the same with your kids, too. On a daily basis it’s so easy to get into that nag-nag-nag-nagging (I know, because I’m a specialist in this): You’re not going out without a scarf! Have you done your homework? Why did you get so bad marks in maths? Pick up your dirty socks and tidy up your room – I can’t see the floor in there! What, have you spent your pocket money already!

Have a fabulous family life

I have to turn back to the memory of such a tremendous happiness when my first baby was born: What a miracle! And remind myself to enjoy that miracle again. To focus more on what I want from my children – that they are happy and that we have fun together – and less on what I don’t want (the mess, bad grades and stinky socks behind the sofa cushions!). It’s so easy to make a child laugh – and isn’t that really the essence of a fabulous family life: A home filled with laughter.