Our Pets – Bunch of Animals

If I had three wishes to make, one of them would be that our pets could laugh. My next wish would probably be that they couldn’t, again. But for that brief time in between, we would find out just what our fur kids think is funny. Why don’t they laugh, anyway? No sense of humor? Not the right kind of vocal cords? Or hasn’t anything struck them as being funny yet? I think they’re just stuck up. What makes them think they’re so special, anyway? Bunch of…animals.

Of course, we can’t lay claim to being the best animals ourselves, can we? In fact, we make lousy animals, when you get right down to it. It’s almost scary how easily our brains can be fooled. There are all sorts of optical illusions that can trick us. We don’t see many wavelengths of light. We don’t hear or detect smell very well. We need to eat and drink way too often. We can’t fly, can’t walk for months and months, and generally swim no better than trained rocks. We can run okay, but half the time our pride won’t let us, and we drop into a dead sleep every day or so, like clockwork. We should be thankful we have the brains and thumbs to build shelter, or most of us would have been eaten by packs of roving wolves long ago. You’d think all that would give animals plenty to laugh at.

Our Pets   Bunch of Animals

How do we get along with our fellow animals? Well, sometimes we eat them. I suppose that’s not very funny. And which of our animal friends do we choose to eat? Probably the biggest, slowest, most readily available animals are “dinner”. Little scrawny things without enough meat on their bones to satisfy a person’s appetite, are “pets”. For example: turkey, lobster and trout – dinner. Parakeets, turtles and goldfish – pets. Cows, pigs and lambs – dinner. Doggies, kitties and hamsters – pets. Softness also plays heavily in the decision to eat, or not to eat. If you have soft fur, consider yourself very, very lucky. Nobody wants to carve up a cute little fluffy kitten, but, hey! throw that chicken on the barbee, and let’s tailgate! Of course, there are always those who enjoy the exotic, or macabre. These are the people who eat snake, bugs or the poisonous blowfish. These people need help, not encouragement. They should be weaned off of meat altogether, and made to eat a diet consisting mostly of crackers and oatmeal. Maybe some celery. It all must look so terribly arbitrary to our pets. They must wonder all the time if they are the next hot dish on the buffet table of life.

But you know, maybe our pets are laughing. Maybe they’re laughing right at us, but they just laugh differently than we do. They might laugh by posturing with their hind quarters to our faces. Or by shaking their heads really fast, spattering us with spittle, or whatever other liquid might be coming off of them. They might laugh by chewing the heck out of anything that doesn’t move away once they start in on it. And maybe they are laughing because they have convinced us not only that we need to feed and pamper them, and take them into our homes, but they’ve also convinced us that they are completely unpalatable.

Could be that in reality, they’re delicious. Delectable. Truly quite tasty. But then they lean back, stick a leg up in the air, and begin to clean themselves. What a brilliant ruse!

Perhaps there is a lesson to be learned from our little pet friends. Should you ever, heaven forbid, find yourself in a threatening situation and believe that your life may truly be in danger, just lean back, stick a leg up in the air, and…laugh out loud! It may not help, but it’ll be a pleasant little diversion now, won’t it?

Oh, yes, I had one last wish coming, didn’t I? I wish I had it as good as my pets!