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How to eliminate stress in your relationship?

Elvis Elvis

No matter how good your relationship is, difficult times are inevitable. Sooner or later, an issue will come up that may turn into a crisis for both you and your man. Stress could tear you apart – but it doesn’t have to. You can learn techniques to not only reduce your stress, but to make your lives together happier and better for both of you.

Stress can bring out the worst in you, your man, and your relationship. Usually, stress is temporary and goes away as soon as the stressful situation does. But if stress is a constant factor in your relationship, it could be a signal that you and your man both have needs that aren’t getting met.

The two of you might benefit from some honest discussions about what both of you need and want from each other. (Hint: It helps not to start with, “Honey, we need to talk.” Men usually panic when they hear this.) A good way to start this conversation may be, “Honey, I was wondering if there was anything more we could do to help each other. Is there anything you would like me to do?”

How to eliminate stress in your relationship?

After that, follow these guidelines to help your man and your relationship get the most out of the conversation:

1. When he tells you something he would like you to do, pause, consider it carefully, and repeat back to him in your own words what you just heard him ask for.

2. Ask for clarification on any vague points. If he wants more time with you, ask if he wants afternoons or evenings, or weekdays, whether it’s time together shopping, eating out, or hanging out without an agenda, and if he wants time alone with you or if spending time with your family counts as well.

How to eliminate stress in your relationship?

3. When you are sure you completely understand what he’s asking of you, you can agree, or disagree, or negotiate what you can do.

Next, it’s your turn. You have the right to have your needs met too. And if he wants to be in a relationship with you, then he should make some effort as well. However, it doesn’t hurt to give your man every chance to get it right. With that in mind, follow these steps:

1. Be polite. It doesn’t matter if you have known him since kindergarten. There is no expiration date on politeness for either one of you. If you are secure enough that he will always love you no matter how you ask for something, that’s great. Just be aware that he may not want to do what you are asking if you demand it from him. Men have feelings too.

2. Be very, very specific. If you want him to be more on time when he’s picking you up for a date, tell your man that you would like him to get an early start on days when you have a date, and to try to arrive five minutes early.

3. Ask him (nicely) what he understands that you are asking for. As he repeats it back, you may be very surprised at the message he got. This is where you find out just how different men are from women, and also if you glossed over any important details.

How to eliminate stress in your relationship?

4. Clarify what you want until the message gets through. It truly is a tragedy that men can’t read minds. And, their minds are so different, that even their best guesses are usually way off track. Getting the message straight is an extremely important step in getting each other’s needs met.

5. Now, he can agree, or disagree, or negotiate what he is able and willing to do.

But, remember if you try this and he gets the message, but won’t meet you halfway on meeting your needs, or demands things from you without reciprocating, it’s time to consider that he may not be the right man for you.

Always remember that if a man harms you in any way – emotionally, mentally, spiritually, sexually, or physically, – he is dangerous to you and you should get out of the relationship. Chances are that he can’t change his behavior, and he is always going to hurt you in one form or another.