Assertiveness in your daily life, especially at work, can be tricky. For some people, it is too easy to passively accept what others are saying, rather than speak their minds. Others have difficulty listening to their co-workers, and don’t take into account their thoughts and feelings when trying to convince them of something. And worse, some are overly aggressive when trying to get their point across, resulting in hurt feelings.

The sweet spot, where you stand your ground on issues that are important to you, but still come across as respectful and thoughtful, works magic in many otherwise difficult situations.

Here are some tips to fine-tune your assertiveness:

1. Listen first, Speak second

This is a good rule to follow in most situations, but is especially important if you want to come across as assertive rather than aggressive. Your success at getting your point across is not related to how soon you can get the words out of our mouth. Slow down, let the other person speak first, and make an attempt to actually understand and acknowledge what they are saying. You will be seen as much more respectful, and that person will be more open to hearing what you have to say.

2. Keep your Emotions in Check

Tourists in a country with a foreign language often repeat something louder when it wasn’t understood the first time. Don’t fall into this trap: getting worked up, shouting or otherwise losing your cool will not help your cause. It will only intimidate or put the other person on the defensive.

3. Don’t Back Down

If you are someone who tends to avoid conflict, it may seem easier to just give in to another person’s point of view during a debate, and be done with it. Resist this temptation. Instead, if you feel you cannot continue the conversation, say something like “I understand your point of view, but I don’t agree with you. But that’s OK–we don’t always have to agree. Let’s both think this over, and talk about it again in the future”.

4. Disagree with being Disagreeable

When you do agree to disagree, never make it personal. In your mind, you must always separate the person from the issue at hand, and regardless of how outlandish their position seems, continue to be respectful, and avoid any and all personal comments. Once you cross that line, it is very difficult to go back.

5. Use Logic

Explaining your position logically and pragmatically, leading the person down the path of how you reached your conclusion, is a great way to assert your position without seeming arbitrary. Without being too long winded, given a glimpse into your thought process, rather than just restating the end position.

Success and productivity rely heavily on assertiveness. Without it, you will have difficulty staying on track, since you will be too easily derailed by an aggressive co-worker. Use these techniques to stand your ground, while still building positive relationships.