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Why You Should Stop Complaining?

“Stop complaining – complains lead you nowhere!”
I hate complains! I absolutely can’t stand them, and I’m happy to declare that this site is complaints-free zone. Stop complaining right now!

Complaints have no function. They stifle you. They prevent you from moving on in your life, to live your fabulous life. They establish a status quo that is as pleasant as sour lemon.

Competition in complaining…

They make every one around you join in complaining.To even compete in who has the most to complain about. Or you might find that you actively search for something new to complain about. Probably you don’t even manage to finish complaining while you are together.

And what happens when you leave each other? Do you feel uplifted? Do you feel full of energy? Do you feel like conquering the world? No, you feel down, low and depressed. And that makes you think about even more things to complain about. So you might as well stop complaining all together!

Not changing anything…

I know.

I used to spend a lot of time with complainers. When you live in a foreign country it’s easy. We used to gather a huge group of foreign women here and then we could sit and complain for hours about everything that’s wrong with Greece.

And where did all those complaints leave us?

Did we manage to change the government, reduce the traffic accidents and improve the school system?

No!

Did we create more jobs or made the super markets sell our favorite jam or turn the shop assistants more service minded?

No!

We didn’t get anywhere. Because complaints take you nowhere.

Why You Should Stop Complaining?

Professional complainers…

Still, I don’t deny complaining has its function.Years ago, when my boys were small, I wanted to go out one night to the opening of a new club. The club was run by my good friend and best man. My husband was working and I didn’t have a baby sitter. I was thinking of asking my sister in law to look after the kids, but I knew she wouldn’t be happy about it.

Well, as it was, I had a born complainer visiting at that point. She instructed me:

“Don’t ask you sister in law. Just complain that your husband is working and you feel so bad because none of you can go to the opening of the club of your good friend. Make sure you tell her you don’t really want to go. Tell her, in fact you’d hate to go; that you’d much rather would stay at home, but that you feel you have to go. Sigh.”

I followed the advice of this complaint expert and to my surprise it worked. My sister in law, as the kind, caring person she is, felt sorry for me and took the kids.

Getting sympathy..

I had forgotten about the incident until the other day, when I was painting the house. A friend called, and she was telling me that next day she’d go to another friend’s house to help painting.

“Because I feel sorry for her who has to do it all alone!”

I’d painted thousands of square meters of walls alone. I was not offered help because I didn’t complain about doing it all alone. So why stop complaining?

Professional complainers tend to create a role for themselves as victims. They can use anything:

  • I’m a single mother
  • I am very poor
  • I have back problemsI know a woman in her fifties who sees herself as a victim of a terrible divorce. No, not her own – her parents’ – 35 years ago! For 35 years she has used her parents divorce as a reason to complain about everything that has gone wrong in her life.I know several women who claim to be the victimof a terrible husband. No, he doesn’t beat her or abuses her.But if it wasn’t for him she could have learned to cook sushi, started yoga classes and cut her hair short.She could have got a better job and she could have gone on holidays to Provence.

    But the husband is such a jerk.

    I remember how one of these women even complained about what a silly romantic her husband was.

    “This morning before going to work he left a rose on my car window,” she snorted.

    Life is horrible with the man, but better to stay with him than get divorced! After all, now she has something to complain about and it works!

    She does get loads of sympathy; people feel sorry for her and want to help.

    Why change?

    Why change that?…Eh, that’s a hard one!

    I bet most of these women are not even aware of how their complaints held them back from living a fabulous life. They don’t want to stop complaining.

    But you’re the one who’s responsible for your life. No one else. You can’t blame your parents, your husband or your children.

    Things wouldn’t be different if you had grown up somewhere else or had got another education.

    Your life is still yours.

    Want a fabulous life? Well, you can’t wait for anyone or something to bring it to you on a plate. You are the one who creates it.